I speak to so many women whose default pattern is to assume something is wrong, broken, or missing with themselves or their lives when things aren’t going as planned, or according to their timeline, or expected in the way they had hoped.
They’ve gotten trapped in this innocent self-absorption of attempting to correct their perceived inadequacies while also chasing what’s not already here in the hopes of finally, someday being, accomplishing, and having “enough”.
In the meantime, they’ve completely lost touch with what it could feel like to live beyond the experience of just managing life, going through the motions, and striving to be worth of their desires.
The fact is, any pain, suffering, emptiness, and deficiency you feel is not because you’re not already who or where you think you should be and are racing to get to. Rather, the suffering is what arises from all the ways you’re in resistance to and saying “No” to the woman you are and the life you are living right here and now.
Therefore, the only way to live into more possibility and pleasure than you’re allowing yourself to enjoy now is to:
#1 Embrace self-forgiveness –
The first step is to release any judgement, criticism, self-blame, or resistance to what is, and move into self-forgiveness.
This means moving into full acceptance and self-forgiveness for what you have created AND for whatever you haven’t created yet by embodying the perspective that everything has been and is on purpose even if and especially when circumstances appear otherwise.
This requires embracing all the choices you have made along the way – even the ones you look back on with regrets or that may have been made out of fear or from a disempowered place.
As long as we cling to judgement towards any aspect of ourselves or our lives, the energy of whatever is manifesting cannot evolve, change, shift, transform into something new.
Self-forgiveness is the alchemy that liberates us to fully reclaim our power, freedom, and sovereignty to make more aligned choices and to create a different experience for ourselves and our lives
#2 Commit to mining for the gold –
Whatever it is you’re seeking is not only in that someday when X, Y, or Z happens that you’ve been believing you have to wait for in order to feel better than you do now.
In fact, discovering it, experiencing it, and allowing yourself to feel the fulfillment you are ultimately after is the only way to get more of later.
What is it you imagine that you would be doing, experiencing, feeling, thinking differently that you believe you CAN ONLY do once you’ve achieved your desired outcome?
Capture and identify the essence of what that desired outcome represents for you.
The more you feel into, acknowledge, open to letting yourself truly receive, have, and enjoy whatever of that energy is already alive within you and your life now, the more you will amplify it which is what effortlessly magnetizes more of it to you, rather than you having to go out and chase it or make it happen
Remember, the only way to allow more of it into your experience is to truly let yourself appreciate and take in what is already present in the here and now.
#3 Slow down and savor –
In this day and age, we risk spending much of our waking life in the trance of believing that another moment will be better than this one – and the anxious chasing for what’s not already here.
We end up in this perpetual hunt to fill up what we believe is missing or we don’t yet have enough of, compensating for all the ways in which we, ourselves, feel unworthy and inadequate just as we are.
Rather than letting our selves feel joy in the present moment, we leave ourselves, leave our bodies, and leave the moment, which is the only place we can actually receive what it is we desire in the first place.
So how do we stop this cycle of missing out on our lives and all the joy and fulfillment that is possible?
We must stop giving our power away to our circumstances to determine how good we’ll allow ourselves to feel or not and become 100% responsible for making our fulfillment an inside job.
Your practice from this day forward:
Instead of making your goal the arrival at some imaginary, virtual, someday in the future destination, make the goal and focus be on cultivating the way you want to feel along the way.
That’s all you have. That’s all we ever have…is this moment-to-moment experience.
Your life is happening right now and this moment will never come again.
How do you want to feel right now?
How do you want to experience your life?
You create that one moment at a time.
We have no guarantee how many breaths , how many hours, how many days, how many years we have to enjoy this body in this lifetime,
So why not devote yourself to making the moments you do have as precious, as sweet, as sacred and as pleasure-filled as you can?
And that’s the only way you can ever guarantee you’ll get what you want is to open to feeling it now NOT postponing it for later.
And you’re fully resourced and have everything you have within you to do that, so why waste that resource?